Belief…

How many of you feel as though you need to believe in yourself more than you do? Because I know that I definitely do.

 I very rarely finish things I start because I convince myself that what I have done so far is inadequate and so I tend to give up. For example, I start to tidy my room but get distracted. And then it tends to look worse than when I first started. I take one look around and think what the point is, leave and close the door behind me. I made more of a mess of it than when I first started and so I just gave up. Okay, so that was not a very good example. Moving on….

I try something once and get discouraged if it doesn’t turn out the way I expected. Therefore I refuse to try it again because I am scared of failure. I made chocolate truffles last weekend. They took me almost four hours. My parents hated them (leaving me to eat all twelve!!!). To be fair, they did have too much cocoa powder on but they weren’t that bad. I had desperately wanted to try them and when my first attempt failed I lost all faith in the fact that I could EVER make them.

I started taking driving lessons over two years ago. When I have had an awful lesson I refuse to get back into the car the following week because I do not want a repeat performance.

I just don’t believe in my abilities.

I am currently waiting for a decision to be made about something that means a lot to me. As the days pass I can feel myself giving up on it altogether, even though it is one of the most important things in my life. I know that it is not over but I keep convincing myself that it is. What is it they say? No news is good news…? I certainly hope that is true!!!

I find it hard to accept compliments about the things I do. I love baking but in all honesty I feel as though I am the worse baker in the world. I guess you could say I am a perfectionist. If something is not good enough for me then it certainly will not be good enough for anyone else. People tell me constantly that I am a good baker, and even ask for recipes, but I find it difficult to accept praise. Today, for instance, I helped prepare lunch for the members at my Church. It took me ages to carry out one simple task when others were moving onto their second and third.

Perfection? Maybe. Or was I just comparing myself to others?  Possibly.

I need to learn how to accept me. I need to stop comparing myself to others and I need to accept that I do things to the best of my ability. And there will be people who do not like what I do but there are also people who will appreciate my time and effort. I need to accept that everyone is different, and that we all work at our own pace.

“You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s