Trust is a simple five letter word; easy to pronounce, difficult to do and when it is broken it can completely destroy you. I know this feeling all too well. I now have a major issue with trust and I hate it. Time and time again I have trusted people and they have let me down and left me feeling ashamed and fragile. Now, I find myself holding back from saying what I really feel because I cannot be sure whether a person is trustworthy or not.
This morning I had someone break my trust in the worst possible way. I had a conversation with them earlier in the week. I have had a difficult week. I have been feeling down about the situations I find myself in and I mentioned how it had affected me. They told me that I could trust them but they lied. That is not the first time I have found out they lied to me. I am going to hold my hands up and say I have learned the hard way. Never trust someone who repeatedly lies. This morning I found this person speaking to others about me and telling them things I told them in confidence. It left me feeling alone, angry and it reduced me to tears. Never again will I make the mistake of trusting them. They have had one too many chances from me.
I always believed that trust was important in life. We are meant to be able to trust people. Life is for sharing. We share our happiness, our pain, our sorrows and our joys. I think my opinions have changed in light of what has happened today. In all honesty that scares me. If we keep all our feelings to ourselves it can drive us crazy. But if we share our feelings and worries with others it makes us vulnerable and open to criticism.
It is hard to trust someone the second time around after they already gave you one reason not to trust them