Forgiving and forgetting…

I have posted about this in the past but a conversation I had this morning really challenged me. The topic is forgiveness.

For the past year or so I have really struggled with a certain person, who will remain anonymous. I have found the friendship impossible at times. I am not saying I have a problem with the person in question. If it was a different person doing the same things, I would find that friendship hard too. But what I am saying is that I like my own space. I am sure every other human being does. This person often does not allow me to have my own personal space. When my personal space is invaded I do not take it well. I feel claustrophobic, uncomfortable and frustrated. I have spoken to this person more than once and as polite as possible I have told them that I need some space. However on numerous occasions, they have failed to listen. This leaves me feeling hurt and upset. It gets to the point where I allow the frustration to build up inside me and it affects me negatively. And I never know how to handle it. I allow it to anger me so much that I start to act negatively towards them. In the past I have often thought that I need to make them feel the way they have made me feel. I now realise that this is not the way to handle it.

The conversation I had this morning opened up my eyes. A friend told me that I had to forgive this person for acting the way they do because I too have been forgiven for all the things I have done wrong. When I heard that it made me emotional because I know that I do need to forgive them but it is difficult. There are times in the past where I have forgiven them but they have gone on to hurt me again, time after time.

This is what I struggle with the most; forgiving someone who constantly hurts me. So how do I go about forgiving them? I do not know but it has to be done!

I was looking at forgiveness on the internet earlier and came across a website which talked about knowing how to really forgive someone. It gave a few suggestions; examine your anger, turning it over to God and writing it down. If we examine our anger, we have the opportunity to look at what actually causes us to become angry. The anger can be clear or unclear. If we know the root of anger we can start to find a way of resolving it and avoiding it in the future. We can give our anger to God and allow Him to control the situation and allow Him to give us strength. If we write our anger down it can bring us a release. We can release our anger in a healthy way, one that does not hurt others.


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