Four: Your Sibling

Dear Matthew,

You will never understand the words in this letter but I know if you could you would be touched. I can honestly say that you mean the world to me. You have given me so many years of happiness. Sadly, you will never know how much. I hold very fond memories of you in my heart. Ones which will be treasured for the rest of my life.

It has not been easy growing up with you but I would never, ever change you. The difficulties you have, have taught me so many lessons that I could not learn any other way. I am proud to call you my brother. People look at you and judge you because of the way you look. But if they got to know you they would see you as the most caring, happy, loving person they could ever meet.

There are so many things I love about you. I love cuddling up to you on the couch and the way you laugh when I tickle your back and feet. I love how your smile makes me smile too. It makes me laugh when you kick your shoes of whilst having a tantrum. I love how you tell me to be quiet when I sing along to your music. I love the way you tell me that the meals I cook are gorgeous. I love how excited you get for something even though it will be weeks until it happens. I love the way you come home on a Thursday and the first thing you talk about is having fish and chips for your dinner the next day. I love the way we laugh so much together that I start to cry and my stomach hurts, and that makes you laugh more. I love sitting with you whilst you throw your toys around the room (as long as they do not go anywhere near my head!). Some of your music tastes could be better, but I would happily sit and listen to Alison Moyet all day, every day just to hear you sing. I love the way we go round the supermarket together and pick out the foods to put in the trolley. I love when you are sat in a room on your own and you have conversations with yourself, especially when you tell yourself that you are a good boy for singing along nicely to the music you have on. I love how you randomly call my name and blow me kisses and when you call me over just to say boo.

I know I am not always the sister you deserve. I am sorry for the times I tell you off for saying bad words even though you do not understand what you are saying and why they should not be said. I am sorry for the times I have told you I hate you. For the record, I do not hate you (I never could!) and I always wish I could take it straight back.

Thank you for the times you have cuddled me when I was upset. Thank you for making me laugh when I needed it the most and for bringing meaning to my life. Thank you for reminding me that no matter what I must never, ever give up and for helping me realise that my problems are insignificant. But most of all I want to thank you for being the best big brother anyone could ask for.

Lots of love and kisses, Caroline xxx

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