63/365: Wish — We all wish for something; a new car, a bigger house, a spouse, more money in the bank, to be skinnier or prettier, a second chance. We all have different wishes from our friends and family. We all have an idea of what perfect looks like to us; we know what car we want to drive, what our house should look like. I am not particularly materialistic. I don’t mind that my car is not the best there is. It gets me from place to place and that is all that matters. The house I live in is not huge but it is perfect for three people. What do I wish for then? My wishes are quite deep ones. I wish to be reunited with my brother. I know one day that will come true. God only knows when that will be. But for now I have to carry on as best as I can. I wish that my family are able to find true happiness again and that they are able to laugh and smile like they did before. I wish for my friends who are not Christians to come to know God and accept Him as their Saviour. Heaven sounds beautiful and I do not want them to miss it!
39/365: Money — We live in a world so focused on money. Some people have too much whilst others do not have enough. Life is not all about money. Money does not equal happiness. If you look at some of the poorest countries in the world you see smiles on faces. They smile because they are making the best of the life they have been given. Money is not everything. It gets you a nice house, a good car, the latest fashions but it does not give you love. In the words of the famous Beatles song ‘…money can’t buy me love’.
62/365: Sacrifice — When we sacrifice something we give it up. The reason many people make sacrifices is because of their love or admiration for another person. Sometimes we can sacrifice our own happiness to see someone else happy. We can sacrifice our time in order to help others. One of the greatest sacrifices that has been done for me is by my Saviour. God sacrificed His ONE and ONLY son for me. My sin held Jesus on the cross. My sin saw Jesus die a painful death. No other sacrifice will match or be greater. This one sacrifice changed my life as well as the lives of millions of people around the world.
I though I was dreaming, seeing you lying there. Then I touched your cold face and realised I was awake and this was reality. You were actually gone. Tears ran down my face as I kissed your cheek. I told you I loved you so much and longed for you to say yes like you always did. But you didn’t. The only sounds were of people crying. We sat with you and talked to you. It looked as though you were just sleeping. We kissed you and told you we would come and see you again the next day.
The drive home was horrible. The car was silent except for the odd sniffle as we tried to digest that you weren’t going to be coming back home. Walking into the house destroyed me. Everywhere I looked there were reminders of you; your box of toys, your coat hanging on the back of a chair, your cds stacked on the shelf. I would have given anything to have heard your banging feet coming in behind me, to hear you ask for Alison Moyet on your machine, to see you throwing your toys around the room. Anything.
You have been gone for over twenty four hours and believe me they have been the longest hours of my life. I still cannot get my head around it. You are never again going to be at home with us. I will never hear you sing or laugh again. I won’t hear you ask for your favourite meal or favourite CD. I won’t ever again be told off for singing along to your music. I won’t feel your arms wrapped around me for a hug and I won’t get anymore surprise kisses. Never again will I hear you ask for a second breakfast or shout at the top of your voice for your daddy Roy. I will never again hear you say that everything, and everyone, was gorgeous.
I always said you would be a heartbreaker. There are so many broken hearts right at this moment. You easily touched the lives of over a hundred people, possibly even two hundred. The lights of so many lives were dimmed when you closed your eyes for the final time. You brought so much happiness and joy into the lives of those around you. I am so lucky that God chose me to be your little sister. You gave me twenty three years of love, laughter, fun and memories that I will treasure. I promise I will never, ever forget you and I promise to live my life to the full. I love you more than words can ever say.
Rest in Peace gorgeous boy, until we meet again xx