107/365: Battle — We all face battles in life; some serious and some not so. We fight to save our relationships, to keep our friends, our jobs and our families together. Everything in life requires work. If we want something to work we have to put the effort in. Sometimes we can feel as though we are going round in circles and situations feel hopeless. Some of us face personal battles that can be overwhelming. Those battles are hard and tiring. They wear us out to the point that even getting out of bed or keeping our eyes open is a battle. I urge you to keep going. Keep heading towards the end of the tunnel because it will come. I promise.
I often wonder what would happen if I just left home one day and failed to return? Would people actually notice? Would they really care? Would I care what people thought?
What would happen if I just stopped turning up to my regular hangouts? If I stopped texting and calling? If I decided I did not want to be involved in the same things anymore?
Truth is, I don’t know what I want anymore and I don’t know where I belong. The even bigger truth is that I don’t know who I am anymore.
As we approach the end of this year I wanted to share with you some of the lessons I have learnt over the past twelve months.
This beautiful fifteen year old girl was taken far too soon from this world. A young girl with a wonderful voice and lots of talent. Sadly, like so many other young people, she battled with inner demons.
Please listen to the beautiful Elle Holmes singing Mirror Mirror, a song that she wrote herself.
If you can, share this video on your social media profiles. Let’s get Elle heard around the world. Let’s send out a message of hope to those struggling. Young people need to know that it is okay to ask for help. It is okay to not be okay. Young people need to know that they matter and people care. They need to know that there is hope and there is help available to them.
I wrote this about two months ago. I had just been through something that completely knocked me off track and I had so many questions going through my head. I felt as though I was crowded by people but I just needed to be on my own to process everything that was going on in my head.
I wish I knew what was going on in my head.
I wish there was a name I could give this behaviour but there isn’t.
I wish I could put into words why I am so emotional, why tears escape my eyes at every given opportunity but I can’t.
I wish I knew why I am so afraid, what it is that I am scared of but I don’t.